How To Make Time For You- Why “Me” Time Is Important For Parents Sanity.
A few days ago, A close friend of mines called me to check in. She said she was thinking about me and wanting to know if I was OK because I always have my kids and rarely get a break from them.
I was totally grateful that she checked in with me! Often times we as parents make it look easy but deep down inside we are in dire need of a break.
I actually was planning on making a posts about this but didn’t know what to focus on, how to introduce it. I just had full writer’s block going on around this topic.
But today, as I was scrolling down social media, I saw a news article about A Mother of Three In Philly Who Jumped Off A Bridge While Her Kids Were In The Car. I got really emotional reading that article and I knew right then that this topic needed to be discussed ASAP. After finishing that article, I grabbed my laptop and began free-writing.
Why is “ME” Time So Important
It is so important for us to make time for ourselves. Having time on your own helps you relax and most importantly recharge. If we don’t we are risking our sanity and most importantly we can NOT be at our best to our children if we don’t feel that way.
Exhaustion, anxiety, sleep deprivation, frustration, sadness, no identity outside of being a parent? Trust me I’ve been there! I would find myself at 3:40 in the afternoon, still in my pajamas, STILL haven’t ate. But you know what? The kids were dressed, they had breakfast, lunch, snack, and were all attended to. Laundry was being washed and folded, dishes were being cleaned. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!
I did three things: I told myself that this sh!t gotta stop, I made my kids a daily schedule, and I followed the 5 tips below.
And I know what you are thinking! It’s easier said then done. But that is not the case today. I am going to show you how it’s easily DONE!
5 WAYS TO GET SOME MUCH NEEDED “ME” TIME IN
1) Schedule It In
Schedule “ME” time during things like nap time, or bed time. During my kids nap time I lay in bed and catch up on my shows and probably end up taking a nap myself . At night I may even pour me a glass of wine or have a shot of Tequila. You can choose either nap time or bed time for your “Me” time. You have to save one of those times to get household chores completed. And it doesn’t have to be set in stone. One day, “Me” time can be during nap time, while the next day it can be at bed time 🙂
Need to get your kids started on a schedule? CLICK HERE
Wanna know why you should put your kids to bed by 7pm? CLICK HERE
2) Find Outside Help
If someone offers you help, Please take it! Whether you hire a babysitter, family member, or friend don’t be afraid to ask for help or receive the help that is being offered to you so that you can get some “ME” time in. I know what it’s like to feel like you want to be able to handle it all and asking for help makes you feel like you are admitting to failure (That was my problem which almost drove me insane!) but that’s not what you’re doing. It takes a village!
I usually recommend this approach for the times you need to get out the house but you can also use it for some in house assistance. My sisters will come over if I told them I just want to sit in the bath for an hour LOL. If you keep getting told “NO” from family and friends, than you are asking the wrong ones! It wasn’t until I put my big girl panties on and stopped asking the same family members for help just to be disappointed and started asking my in-laws, friends, and sisters for a break! My MIL literally will come over and sit with my kids so I can run to the grocery store.
If reaching out to family isn’t an option, then investing in a sitter is always an option. You have to invest in your mental health.
NOTE: Do not burn your bridge with family or friends. Remember to respect their time and pick your children up at the agreed upon time. If you stated you will pay them. Do It! If they have kids, return the favor. I’m sure they can use a break as well.
3) Play Dates
This is by far the best way I can get some human interaction in outside of my kids. Schedule a play date with your close friends or family who has kids. Allow the kids to play, while you guys sit back and enjoy each other’s company, play some games, gossip,and whatever else you and your friends like to do. It’s hard being a parent and still making time to catch up with friends and family. This is the best way to do that without needing a sitter.
4) Sign Up For a Gym That Has Child Care
I think a major concern for a lot of parents is staying fit. Gyms that offer childcare services like the YMCA, 24-hour fitness, and Xperience Fitness are game changers. Mainly because it is hard enough trying to stay fit for anyone. But as Parents, trying to find time to exercise is a greater challenge.
I am going to be completely honest with you. Judge me if you want but, my sole purpose of going to the gym is to get a break from my children. Getting exercise in is just one of the perks. They have fun too lol!
5) Sneak Away and Lock The Doors
Yes! I said it! You can definitely judge me some more. I am OK with that because this has saved me from going bat Sh!t crazy. Sneaking away for 15-20 mins is necessary especially in moments where you are feeling extremely frustrated and overwhelmed. Go in your room, Shut and lock the door and just BREATHE!
For new moms, Forget what they told you! It is OK to leave the newborn in the crib after you’ve met all their needs and just give yourself 15-20 mins to just BREATHE and do NOTHING! Trust me, the ones that’s telling you it’s wrong has probably done it a few times themselves. We’re all human. The last thing you want to do is flip out on your kids out of frustration.
Product Recommendations To Assist with “Me” Time:
Baby Gates: Comes in handy when you want to control what area of the house that the kids are restricted to go in so that you can enjoy some me time while they play or if you need to go in your room and lock the door for a few mins. I literally put one up to separate my kids rooms from the living room and kitchen. This helps control how much needs to be cleaned. No toys will ever be in my kitchen and living room because my kids aren’t allowed in there when the baby gate is up.
Just because your kids are taller than the gate doesn’t mean it won’t be effective. I have two kids that can actually climb over it but they know not to do it. Trust me, Try it and see what a difference it makes in your home.
Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy: My sister got me hooked on this from Bath and Body works and I’m always looking for ways to save money. It’s on amazon for a fraction of the cost of getting it at the store. You have to try it in your bath and see how much it relaxes you. BEWARE: you may even fall asleep LOL.
Foot Massager: I got my sister one of these for Christmas and after trying it out myself, I had to purchase one too! Let me tell you….. This thing right here feels like God himself is massaging your feet. After a long day with the kids the only thing you are going to want to do is sit back with a nice beverage, slip your feet in, turn your fav show on, and let this amazing thing go to work.
I hope these tips have helped you find ways to schedule “ME” time. If you have any tips or suggestions for “Me” time, please leave them in the comments.
If you find yourself not knowing what to do during your “ME” time, check out my Pinterest board to get some more fun or relaxing ideas: